The Zombie Gnome Defense Guide: A Complete Reference to Surviving the Tiniest Apocalypse

In the tradition of other tongue-in-cheek "survival" manuals, The Zombie Gnome Defense Guide addresses the imminent threat of undead lawn ornaments and provides sage advice on combating invasion and preventing infection.

Compiled from the notes of four zombie gnome experts (among them a Van Helsing-like zombie gnome hunter and a gardening columnist), this guide includes a detailed study of zombie gnome habits, hiding places, and offensive tactics, as well as an intimate history of the zombie gnome rise and eventual war with humanity.

Empty-eyed, shambling, and hungry for human ankles, the zombie gnome population is on the rise, infesting the backyards of suburbia and attacking innocent lawn ornaments everywhere. While chances of human survival are minimal, readers can arm themselves with The Zombie Gnome Defense Guide to combat their tiny, undead enemies.

Offering strategies for defense against a zombie gnome invasion, the book provides an extensive list of essential weapons and DIY home-fortification tips. Rare illustrations of zombie gnomes in their natural habitat and a priceless collection of never-before-seen photos (housed in an envelope in the back of the book) make this the go-to guide for survivalists in a zombie gnome-infested world.