A vital, moving and darkly funny memoir by a powerful new voice in non-fiction.
"I'm in bed with my mother, in a Bangkok sex hotel. It is my 30th birthday, it is time for me to become a man, and I have grave worries about the kind of man I'm going to become."
On an unlikely backpacking trip, Rhik and his mother find themselves speaking openly for the first time in years. Afterwards, the depression that has weighed down on Rhik begins to loosen its grip for a moment - so he seizes the opportunity: to own it, to understand it, and to find out where it came from.
Through this begins a journey of investigation, healing and recovery. Along the way Rhik learns some shocking truths about his family, and realizes that, in turn, he will need to confront the secrets he has long buried. But through this, he triumphs over his fears and brings his depression into the light.
I Never Said I Loved You is the story of how Rhik learned to let go, and then keep going. With unique humour and honesty, he has created a powerfully rich, funny and poignant exploration of the light and dark in all of us.
'Brutally honest and relentlessly funny.' Adam Kay, author of 'This is Going to Hurt'
I found myself blindsided by this extraordinary book. It's funny, of course, and laceratingly frank; but the prose is exceptionally stylish, it is erudite and wise, and I was deeply moved by its capacity both to depict pain, and offer consolation. I loved it, and won't ever forget it. - Sarah Perry
A brilliant memoir full of gasp-inducing honesty about depression and family and taking control of your own pain. Funny, sad, hopeful, I Never Said I Loved You is an irresistible, strangely empowering read. - Matt Haig, author of Reasons To Stay Alive
Profound, funny and completely heartbreaking - Christie Watson, author of The Language of Kindness
Laugh-out-loud hilarious and devastatingly sad. It's some of the bravest and most honest writing I've ever read - Nathan Filer, author of The Shock of the Fall
I Never Said I Loved You is a work of art. It's as wrenching as it is funny, and I desperately want to hang out with his mum now - Stuart Heritage, author of Don t Be a Dick, Pete
Both unputdownable and beautifully-written, bracing and consoling. A book that tackles mental health and the darkest things with razor-sharp wit and mordant laughs aplenty ... read this. - Sharlene Teo, author of Ponti
Touching, funny, wildly readable ... Look out for it. - Sathnam Sanghera
No one writes better, or more sweetly, about how it feels to feel. Even the darkest times are shot through with glorious, bright beams of wit. It's like a handbook for your inner cheerleader. - Janet Ellis
Rhik is a writer, actor and broadcaster. He has a regular column with The Guardian and created their cult 'Inspect a Gadget' feature. He has written for The Observer, Men's Health and Prospect magazine, as well as being a guest, presenter and host on various radio shows. Rhik studied acting at Drama Centre London and appeared on HBO, BBC, ITV, C4 (credits including Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Doctors) as well as a lead role with the RSC.