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Vanessa Parody

Five foot two inches of lithe Lancashire muscle, combining the style of Joan Collins, the intellect of Joan Bakewell and the tits of Joan from Mad Men, Vanessa Parody enjoyed previous careers as burlesque dancer, Formula One mechanic and research associate at the Large Hadron Collider before moving into erotic fiction. She is the only person to have been the simultaneous recipient of Rear of the Year and the British Mensa Intelligence Award. She is unmarried.

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