Hilarious spoof. The thoughts of the nation's favourite Geordie superstar
'Hei, Mam Ah'm ganna be a stor' said a young Cheryl Tweety to hor Mam one day, following a bonny baby competition in hor native Newcastle. An tell yerz this leik, she wuzzen wrong!
Noo aall grern up as Cheryl Kerl, shiz the peepils' princess an shiz everywhor yerz look pet. On TV, radieau, magazines an billboadz; just aboot the biggest star in the UK man! And ask hor what she thinks aboot it an she'll jus flash yerz tha big smeel and likelee sey 'Its mint man!' in that Geordie accent so loved the world over. In short shiz fulfilled hor destinee.
Noo as queen of aall she surveys, faw the foast teim in this book you'll get a personal insight into what she thinks aboot aall sortz a stuff an tha. Covering topics as divoase as the music biz tuh jeans, the opera tuh fashion icons, itz aall between these pages.
Find oot tha being a supahstor's nut just aboot havin the teim of yerz leef gaddin aboot at fillum premiers an tha. Beheend tha smeel lies a leefteim a hoad graft an detomanation.
It'z aall heart and soul, pulling no punches itz told leik it is, man woman man.
ah've jus storted followin yerz on wor laptop, yerz daein a bang up job - Bill Bailey
So so funny. Huge fan of yours, always hilarious. Every tweet a delight - Peter Serafinowicz
no one has made me laugh as much as your tweets. Who the bollocks are you? - Emma Freud
The most fun thing about Cheryl Kerl is that you have to read her writing oot lood befowa yiz can tell what thee see leik - Mitch Benn