Psychotherapist and TED talk speaker challenges us to understand infidelity, and how couples can survive it: a must-read for anyone who has ever loved.
***NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER***
Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Why do people cheat? Can an affair ever help a marriage?
Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected - an expression of longing and loss.
A must-read for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.
'Esther Perel does nothing short of strip us of our deepest biases, remind us of our purpose in connecting as lovers, and save relationships that might otherwise sink into the sea-all with even-handed wisdom, fresh morality, and wise prose. Thank heavens for this woman.' - Lena Dunham
'Beautiful. A brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding, and - as always - kindness.' - Alain de Botton
'She's the guru on relationships... she's the first person I ask for advice' - Cara Delevingne
'Wisest sex therapist we ever did meet. Her new book, THE STATE OF AFFAIRS, proposes a new perspective on infidelity' - GRAZIA'This is a must-have for all married couples and has completely changed my thinking.' - SUNDAY TIMES STYLE
'Perel's beautiful new book asks us to pause and examine our prejudices and assumptions around affairs - and to hold off on our usual knee jerk attempts to approve or condemn. She wants, first and foremost, that we understand why infidelity happens and what really occurs when it does. Anyone who thinks they understand the topic already needs to read this book urgently. Perel's work amounts to a brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding and-always-kindness.'
'Hello, I'm Esther... I imagine a world where we experience a sense of aliveness and vitality in our relationships, because the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. I've dedicated my life and career to understanding and improving human relationships. Let's continue to learn together.'
Psychotherapist Esther Perel is recognised as one of the most insightful and original voices on modern love. She has changed the conversation on what it means to be in love and have a fulfilling sex life.. For the past ten years, she has worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she argues, but healing is possible. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage - with the same person. With the right approach, couples can learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Weaving real-life stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis, Perel invites readers into a truly revealing exploration of modern marriage. She coaches, consults and speaks regularly on erotic intelligence, trauma, sexual honesty and conflict resolution. She is the bestselling author of Mating in Captivity and her TED Talk has reached 6.5 million views online.