At last, the handbook all you cool cats have been waiting for! One hundred easy ways to discover the joys of a purrfectly obedient human.
Though humans cannot speak cat, they vocalise repeatedly. Most of their vocalisations are meaningless and can be completely ignored.
In urban areas, fun can be got from hunting human objects such as mink stoles or old underpants. For some reason this kind of prey is usually greeted with human laughter.
To get a male human off an armchair, jump on the back of it, hold down his head with a firm paw and lick his bald patch.
Purring right into the ear is one of the kindest ways to tell a human being that it is time to get out of bed.
Celia Haddon is a bestselling anthologist whose books have sold well over 1,000,000 copies worldwide. She was the Daily Telegraph's pet agony aunt and is a reputed lover and worshipper of cats, having lived with them and loved them since she was a child. She has compiled a number of anthologies in their honour. She is also compiler of the best-selling One Hundred Ways series and a qualified cat behaviourist.