At last, the handbook all you cool cats have been waiting for! One hundred easy ways to discover the joys of a purrfectly obedient human.
Though humans cannot speak cat, they vocalise repeatedly. Most of their vocalisations are meaningless and can be completely ignored.
In urban areas, fun can be got from hunting human objects such as mink stoles or old underpants. For some reason this kind of prey is usually greeted with human laughter.
To get a male human off an armchair, jump on the back of it, hold down his head with a firm paw and lick his bald patch.
Purring right into the ear is one of the kindest ways to tell a human being that it is time to get out of bed.
Celia Haddon was the Daily Telegraph pet agony aunt whose knowledgeable yet sentimental column delighted cat lovers. She has sold somewhere between one to two million books and is an author recognised by bookshops and the general public. Her manual One Hundred Ways for a Cat to Train Its Human has sold more than a quarter of a million copies so far and her One Hundred Secret Thoughts Cats have about their Humans has sold 147,000. Her first narrative book - Tilly: The Ugliest Cat in the Shelter - sold in excess of 18,000 copies in the UK Trade.
A cat behaviour practitioner with the Centre of Applied Pet Ethology, she has a B.Sc. in applied animal behaviour.